Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
