Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
