I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
