I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
