funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I believe in your delicious
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
