i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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