The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize