Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you told grandpa to call you daddy
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
