I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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