she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
