So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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