my vag is so smooth its legendary
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
