My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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