I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
