i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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