My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
