walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Randomize
