So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
