my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have post one night stand depression
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
