...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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