This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Pants are for mortals
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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