addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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