So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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