ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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