there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
