man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
