So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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