Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
