you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
