slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We left an ass print on the piano.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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