SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
