just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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