Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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