I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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