well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize