Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
