he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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