So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
