just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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