the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize