NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
