They should really pass out barf bags in church
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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