So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
