Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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