In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
