he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
