Duck Duck Cougar?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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