I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Your penis caused this!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize