I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
