he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
