he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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