I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize