someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
