When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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