My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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