bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
