I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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