i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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