I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
