They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
