The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
