She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
