We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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