Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
foreskin is a definite game changer
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
