I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
