So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
