Christians are straight up FREAKS
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
