help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize