she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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