my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
