i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
ttyl tear gas
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
