I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
