i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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