just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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