vagina is talking i cant
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
